Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today I tried my hand at red dead redemption. There's just something magnetic about riding a horse around a sandbox full of dust dragging a prostitute. I am unsure as to why this is. Moving forward, what the fuck is up with that horseshoe game. I tried that shit for three fucking hours, by the end I was so baked to deal with the stress I thought the controller was made entirely of latex. I chewed it for another hour. Sweet jesus, why did they have to place such an infuriating waste of time in a game that was originally created to waste time? So then I just invited my sister over and had her watch as I shot horses to vent my rage onto something else. While this worked, I was still off my face, and I kinda just lazed around watching cartoon network because the remote was too far away. Any comments on the game? Do you think I'm lazy? Do you think I care what you think? Comment, let me know.,

Friday, October 8, 2010

Telemarketers that cry

Well, I had a strange experience today. A man claiming to be from the Australian government keeps calling me and trying to get me to participate in a survey. This man has called on average of twice a day for a month, and I'm not very happy about it, so for the past three weeks or so I've been answering the phone in character. So, today he called again, and although I'm pretty sure I didn't, I think I may have convinced him that he had been badgering a branch of asio for the past month. He seemed quite distressed, and that's how I listened to a telemarketer cry for nearly ten minutes over the phone. Below is a representation of what my face looked like throughout.

On another note, if anyone has any ideas on what character I should assume if he or another telemarketer calls back, I will be more than happy to record the conversation and post it here. So, give me some ideas, I've already been through pirate, Russian, paedophile,  gay guy, hick, the mentally retarded and a guy with DiD.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The recap

Well, though I'm not at all experienced with blogs and I have no idea what I'm doing, I suppose this is where I bring you up to speed as to what this is all about, why I've made it, etcetera. From the tender age of three I've never really liked people, and I've  always liked cake. Nothing against people, but presented with the choice of enjoying a 'cold' beer in a room filled with sweaty neanderthals, all hooting for the other neanderthal with the football, and sitting quietly at home enjoying cake, I'd much rather have the cake. This blog will basically be addressing situations I've recently been getting into, and finding a way to show that although the situation may seem appealing, cake is far superior. Moving forward with that in mind, I've recently been hearing a lot about a game called minecraft, and so I decided to try it out and see what all the hype was about. All was well and good for the first hour, I had a nice little castle on a nice little hill overlooking a nice little pit of hades full of creepers. So me being me, I killed them and proceeded to harvest their innards in order to produce some TNT. This was not a well thought out plan, as I had not taken time to gauge how it was a good idea to be producing high explosive and storing it in a basement (Without the prior knowledge that I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again to move it). Now, if my avatar had insurance, the premiums would be insane. That nice little castle on a nice little hill overlooking a pit it now a pit full of LAVA. That and while all the pigs I kept in a separate part of the basement burned, I didn't even get any bacon. If my avatar's little block-ridden face could cry, I'd think it would have at least doused half the pit. Now I live in a ix by six hole in the ground with one torch and no pigs. It's like I'm russian.